I'm Known As the ‘Penis and Vagina’ Kid from the Classic 1990 Film: A Candid Conversation.
Arnold Schwarzenegger is best known as an Hollywood heavyweight. Yet, at the height of his star power in the eighties and nineties, he also delivered several critically acclaimed comedies. The standout film is Kindergarten Cop, which marks its 35th anniversary this winter.
The Role and An Iconic Moment
In the 1990 movie, Schwarzenegger plays a undercover cop who poses as a kindergarten teacher to locate a fugitive. For much of the story, the investigation plot serves as a basic structure for the star to film humorous scenes with children. Without a doubt the standout involves a child named Joseph, who unprompted stands up and states the stoic star, “Males have a penis, girls have a vagina.” Schwarzenegger replies icily, “Thank you for that information.”
The boy behind the line was portrayed by child star Miko Hughes. In addition to this part included a recurring role on Full House as the bully to the child stars and the pivotal role of the youngster who comes back in the film version of Stephen King’s Pet Sematary. He still works in film today, with multiple films in development. Additionally, he is a regular on the con circuit. He recently recalled his experiences from the production after all this time.
Memories from the Set
Interviewer: First, how old were you when you filmed Kindergarten Cop?
Miko Hughes: My understanding is I was four. I was the most junior of all the kids on set.
Wow, I don't recall being four. Do you remember anything from that time?
Yeah, somewhat. They're brief images. They're like visual recollections.
Do you recall how you were cast in Kindergarten Cop?
My family, especially my mother would bring me to auditions. Sometimes it was like a cattle call. There'd be 20, 30 kids and we'd all patiently queue, be seen, be in there less than five minutes, do whatever little line they wanted and then leave. My parents would feed me the lines and then, when I became literate, that was probably the first stuff I was reading.
Do you have an impression of meeting Arnold? What was your take on him?
He was extremely gentle. He was playful. He was nice, which arguably isn't too surprising. It would be strange if he was mean to all the kids in the classroom, that likely wouldn't create a positive atmosphere. He was a joy to have on set.
“It would have been odd if he was mean to all the kids in the classroom.”
I understood he was a major movie star because that's what my parents told me, but I had never really seen his movies. I sensed the excitement — like, that's cool — but he didn't really intimidate me. He was just fun and I was eager to interact with him when he was available. He was occupied, of course, but he'd sometimes engage here and there, and we would hang off of his arms. He'd flex and we'd be dangling there. He was really, really generous. He purchased for each child in the classroom a Sony Walkman, which at the time was a major status symbol. This was the coolest device, that iconic bright yellow cassette player. I listened to the Power Rangers soundtrack and the Ninja Turtles soundtrack for a long time on that thing. It finally gave out. I also have a genuine metal whistle. He had the referee's whistle, and the kids all were gifted copies as well.
Do you remember your experience as being fun?
You know, it's funny, that movie is such a landmark. It was a major production, and it was an incredible opportunity, and you would think, in retrospect, I would want my memories to be of the star himself, working with [director] Ivan Reitman, the location shoot, the production design, but my memories are of being a really picky eater at lunch. Like, they got everyone pizza, but I wasn't a pizza fan. All I would eat was the pepperoni off the top. Then, the first-generation Game Boy was new. That was the coolest toy, and I was pretty good at it. I was the smallest kid and some of the bigger kids would bring me their Game Boys to pass certain levels on games because I knew how, and I was quite pleased with myself. So, it's all little kid memories.
The Infamous Moment
OK, the infamous quote, do you remember anything about it? Did you know what you were saying?
At the time, I likely didn't understand what the word provocative meant, but I knew it was provocative and it got a big laugh. I was aware it was kind of something I wasn't supposed to do, but I was given approval in this case because it was funny.
“My mom thought hard about it.”
How it was conceived, based on what I was told, was they were still developing characters. Certain bits of dialogue were part of the original screenplay, but once they had the kids together, it wasn't necessarily improv, but they refined it on set and, reportedly the filmmakers came to my mom and said, "We have an idea. We want Miko to say this. Are you okay with this?" My mom paused. She said, "I need to consider this, I need time" and took a short while. It was a tough call for her. She said she was hesitant, but she believed it will probably be one of the unforgettable moments from the movie and she was right.